This blog journey starts in the middle. I will begin at the beginning, but today, I needed to say this.
As of today, my three-year journey in weight loss, the ups and downs, has come to this point in my life. I am not proud of where I started, but where I am today, I am pleased. Knowing this number does not define me as a person but only a number.
My journey started in late 2019; I was miserable with my weight. Miserable and embarrassed to say the number right now. However, I told myself, enough of hiding it. It was what it was, and I never intended to return there.
Looking at photos of my ordination to the Diaconate prompted me to do this. I looked at the pictures and was embarrassed. How many times can I say that many? I still needed to get more motivated. It wasn’t until I was walking with my husband that I struggled to walk and breathe. It was cold and miserable. I had a panic attack and meltdown part way home. I couldn’t breathe, and tears were flowing from my eyes. It lasted about 10 minutes. After a while, my husband wanted to know what happened on our walk. I just told him it was a panic attack.
I was embarrassed to tell him my true feelings. He doesn’t understand weight issues, well, let me correct that, overweight issues. He has always been thin; from what I know, he was a skinny child. So he had the opposite problem of me.
For Mike, walking is fine. He walks fast and can cover twice as much as I can. While walking that day, I used a cane and struggled with my bad knee. It needs replacing as it is bone on bone.
Everything just came crashing down on me that day, and when I went to bed, it didn’t stop there. I had a meltdown. I prayed to God to help me with my weight. To give me the strength to drop the weight to get knee surgery. I told him I was weak and could no longer do this alone. I surrendered myself to him that night. I felt a calmness through the tears and fell asleep. The pain subsided in my legs.
The next day, I started cutting back on eating. I started counting calories and finding a solution for myself—another diet. I looked at Keto, tried that, and did lose some pounds, but it needed to come off faster.
Logging all my food and calories got most of the weight off me.
Funny enough, I am logging food and calories with this weight loss program. Although I am doing plant-based, my doctor has me on this app, Lose It. I log my meals and the portions. I picked the number of calories I wanted to consume, and it told me how long it would take to get to my ideal weight, which I put in. I have been using this app since June and dropped the 15 lbs, then it changed the number of calories a day and gave me a new date to make my goal. I am excited about this new lifestyle.
I am getting up early, thanks to Mike getting my lazy ass out of bed to walk before breakfast. Again, I don’t go as far as he does with Fred Jr., But I do what I can. There are days when I just physically can’t walk far, so I do what I can.
I peddle the rest of the day, which makes it hard to get blogs out when you say you will do them. So, I will have to make sure I make time.
Now for the big reveal. Blogging makes me accountable; here are the facts and figures of my weight. Again, not proud of the numbers but proud that I am finally doing what I have been trying to accomplish all these years. It is never too late.
My starting weight was 385 lbs in the fall of 2019; as of June 21, 2023, I weighed 225 lbs. Yesterday, June 22, I dropped an additional 2 lbs, for 162 lbs dropped so far from 2020 until now. It may be slow, but I never want it back again.
I keep thinking they are just numbers and don’t define me as a person, but I can never escape that feeling of a total meltdown. I don’t want that to happen to me.
So, follow my journey as I continue my story and weight loss to finally getting my knee replaced (hopefully soon).
This is me at 385 lbs.
This is me at 225 on June 21, 2023
Have a blessed day
Lorie
